Is it time to let it go?

I had been living inside my past for entirely 4 years or more. Whatever, i have no idea. Who cares.

Today i had just all released it to my mom right after she told me that i had changed and had been really bad-tempered with small stuff. "The howe howe (my mom and families use to call me that) that i knew, isn't someone so bad-tempered and he is nice to everyone." My tears dropped and i started splashing everythings that i had been through all these years to her which changed me entirely.

What had i changed? hmm..let see. I used to be an idiot which everyone is my priority. I used to be a stupid nerd who smile to someone who said me badly behind me or directly which showed i don't mind as long as they are happy. I used to do whatever people said and never bother to ask why eventhough at last it end up nothing and i still don't mind. I used to be a good-tempered person, whatever you did to me i won't get angry tease me, lye to me, hit me because what i think is as long as you are happy i am okay.

So...what do you think? did i change? :P

Someone once told me, don't get trust so easily. But i don't get what she mean. And now i know. She tried to warn me from getting into this mess but i still get into it anyhow. Sorry..hehe.

You may ask what make me changed the most and keep me so silence. I can answer that. The things that most influenced me is human's humanity and the rude talks.

All the personal experiences that i had been through gave me a conclusion which human is nothing but darkness and unbelievable. I hated this world which is so ugly. Every single actions that i saw are pictures pictures and more pictures. What did i means? let me explain, pictures always have two sides and we usually look at the colouring side which is attractive but we would never turn to the back to see whether it is black or white. Now you got what i mean? So, what is the intention behind all the pictures, don't ask me but only those people know it well.

The more i understand, the more i hate them. The more i closed myself to everyone.

※so, for your little advise - You should never tried to find out whats the intentions behind it eventhough you know there is. Be an idiot. Sometimes you may get hurts but most of the time you are happy and thats all matters. Because once you tried and there will be second tried and so on.., sooner or later trust me you will became one of me.

Rude words. What is rude word. Rude word is some word that son of bitches or bitches always did it "accidentally" which they always said like that. Such an immorality person. They speak some shit stuff which is extremely hurting but they themselves think is fun and opps..i have no intentions to hurt you, just kidding..but seriously. What a BULLSHIT!

※The solution now is delete them from your msn contact or facebook or whatever stuff that got contact to them. Make sure you never see them again. But if they do appear infront of you that often, then why don't just take him transparently? If he talk to you, give him a look like he is a weird strangers or freak. haha. :) so those who don't have my new msn or facebook mean sorry..i HATE you! Jerk! Thanks for ruined my life!

Ohya, there is a drama, a japanese drama anyway. Which i just finished recently is awesome!! It fully showed hows human responded to situations. That so called humanity. No one is good, no one is pure, no one is trust worthy but..the ending shows actually..their is a pure soul existing somewhere that can save you. Just that you need to find it. haha. I love it although i delete the drama dy..LOLZ but it really is a great piece of work. I'll always remember it. It let me learn somethings too. HAHA.

So do you guys think that i should let it go? Forgive and let it go? Is it time for it? Maybe i would still keep some inside me..those are secrets that never tells..hahaha..:P Of course open is entirely for close friend only. Others are restricted. "families" are exceptional. haha. Now those 3 close friends wanna ask somethings, you 3 are most welcomed and i would love to open more to you 3 now. I think..=3= cannot guarantee one o!XD

But you know what? I would wished to go back to where i belong..will i be able to? Can i be as happy as before? I think not..why should i answer my own questions.XD but i wished i could change back to when i was a kid. Someone with pure hearted and thought. haha.

※So is it time to let it go? Guess not ei? I think i would just take it as a lesson for me to grow up be a real MAN! LOL..XD

xoxo

By: alvis